THE FIRST BREAK UP WE WENT THROUGH (K.P.K)
I really don’t feel strong enough… But it is beginning to look like I really don’t have much of a choice. Or rather, like I am not being given one.
I am at a crossroads and not sure what to do. I am being ignored by someone whom I thought cared, and for all my efforts to reach out, I still get silence. Not once has this person asked about my daddy or my husband or ME in spite of everything that has been going on. I even asked if this person wanted to no longer be in my life. No response. And yet this person will talk to others and post to other social media sites and ignore every single thing I have sent. Nearly two weeks of this and I am not sure what to do… or rather, I suppose I know what I should do, and yet… I continue to wait.
Why do I do this to myself?
I just want an answer.
Day date last weekend with my fav across from Detroit 🌊 #detroitriver #windsor
four things (by k.p.k)
Love is a beautiful thing.
I don’t like being ignored. I asked for a “stay” or “go” two days ago and still have heard nothing. Still in limbo. I don’t get it. I feel like a stranger to you… Someone you no longer want here but just haven’t gotten rid of yet. That email was supposed to be my last attempt at contacting you and telling you what was going on in my heart. But it is clear that that doesn’t matter. My husband is losing the only job he has ever wanted. We are having to leave this beautiful country and the people we have met here behind. My husbandad feels hopeless, as if he has lost his purpose in life. He feels he has failed me. Rena has so much crap of her own to deal with and still welcomes me and whatever i need to say with open arms. My daddy is sick and in the hospital and you, who has said that you will be a friend to me, have been utterly ignoring me. That is a stab right through the heart because… You know what? Never mind. It isn’t like it matters anyway.
I’m tired. I’m tired of dealing with life and tired of being ignored by you when my world is falling apart and I have tried and tried to reassure you. I have tried to have a proper conversation and you have ignored every attempt. I’m pretty sure that if you wanted to be my friend, you wouldn’t be ignoring me. But what do I know anymore?
You have had chances since Saturday to read my messages on Line but you haven’t. You have had chances to respond with one word to my email since Monday but you haven’t. And maybe I am being impatient but the bottom line is that your decision is a simple one. You either want me in your life or you don’t. And because of all the silence being thrown my way, it feels that you don’t.
I love you. I truly, truly do. But this either has to go one way or the other. I can’t keep doing this. Maybe your silence on the whole matter really is my answer, but I have never taken hints well.
my car broke down on the highway the other day but i got to watch a really nice sunset while i waited for the tow truck
Scissors In Your Pocket by k.p.k
WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!
Where are you? Crawl through the shadowed lands and I will never let fear avert my gaze. I will lock my eyes to your journey, so when you look up, you will see the light reflecting back in them. Follow them, follow them like you are a lost ship and my eyes are the lighthouse. Follow them home. Where are you?
Typewriter Series #847 by Tyler Knott Gregson
Text for Tired Eyes:
Have you ever wondered what you’d find if you took
your two hands and placed them on my chest and with force,
just enough force my love, pulled it apart and wide open?
I should spare you the gore and the stains on your perfect
hands and tell you instead what would be discovered
beneath this skin and these creaking ribs that have
fought so long to keep the heartbeat inside and the pace slow.
Through the blood and bone and the broken breath of
my battered body you will find so many things you never would
have looked for.
I’ve no doubt in my mind that you will find the residue
of our conversations and the fragments, the small
remains of a lifetime of skipped heartbeats.
You will find the silhouette of shared kisses and
sparklers in the late summer air. The breath that used to
hang above your lips in the cold of morning and the moonlight
and the sound of shuffling feet dancing beneath it.
Look, closer and ignore the red upon your fingertips.
Look, and find the sound of laughter under the covers
and the way your hair smells fresh from a shower.
It’s there, and it’s covered with giant snowflakes
that seem to fall inside me in slow motion
and the flash of the lightning that struck me but spared me
and left me alive to hold you.
Pull harder and reach and risk the scrapes on your knuckles
from the jagged ribs that threaten your advance.
Reach and find the space and invisible thread that connects
the center of your eyes to the center of mine
when we stare at each other. Find the words.
I promise there will be words and the ink will cover the
red on your palms and you will never understand how many
fit inside me, how many can come tumbling out.
A magician you will swear I must be and words will be
the scarf that just never seems to stop. Pull and pull
and get to the bottom of the words and find
the last word that has been at the bottom of the pile
since I started collecting them all in my chest.
Find the word and smile that smile that only you
can smile when you realize that word is, and was,
and always will be You. You.
It’s there where it should be and it’s draped with the way
your hand feels on my skin and the rattle of thunder
against the walls, the raindrops on my skin.
I will feel your hands, cold against the warmth
inside me and you will feel the flapping of the birds
and butterflies, their wings stirring the dust
that collected in the time I spent waiting for you.
Feel them fly past the broken ribs and across your
open palms and close your eyes as they create the breeze
that will tickle your cheeks. Take your hands now,
place them on my chest and find yourself ready
and willing and more than completely
able to discover and set free
all that lives inside me.